Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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