i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
