its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
