Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
