found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
