when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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