i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
