how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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