is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize