we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
