Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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