it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
