do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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