If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
