It's like God shit irony all over that family
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
only you would photoshop your dick
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize