i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
