I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
