grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
