Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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