If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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