dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
