i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize