Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
