We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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