I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
