im about as happy as oj after his trial
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
