Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
