don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
