I am puke
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
