I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
