i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
