I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize