it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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