Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
