Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
