I want to stick my p in your. b.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
