i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
