And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
