Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
