like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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