If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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