You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
