i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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