Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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