i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
How external is "for external use only"?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
