Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
