ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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