Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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