Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
