i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
