His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
