I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
