The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
