Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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