ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
