It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
