dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
