saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
