Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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