Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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